Hello World

So I think in words, and sometimes tend to think in numbers but you see, I have to give you a clear reflection of how I feel. How best but to do it in words. Most of the things I write are raw and real, its all painted into a picture but it comprises of real feelings, different names and yes the right words.

Enjoy!

flower

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Seeds of doubt …

Not to sound poetical or anything but seeds of doubt have a detrimental effect. Doubt is like a greedy malignant cancer. It is not satisfied with its invasion alone. It wants to invade neighboring cells and tissues as well in the body.

I read her message over and over again. It wasn’t because i couldn’t understand it but it was because i needed some sort of clarity. She called herself my friend but why would a friend disguise herself with somebody else’s name? The contents of the message almost instantly got me to tears. Each sentence stabbed at the core of my heart. I had absolutely no doubt that what she was telling me was untrue, I just could not believe the extent at which this friend wanted to shatter me with lies.

I read through the message one last time. Determined not to let it do away with my peace, i decided not to reply. Firstly loners like me don’t have friends and even if I did, they would not disguise themselves in wolf’s clothing, in a precious attempt to break what i hold dearly close to my heart.

BrokenMirrorSunset

Thank you for writing to me …

For the longest time, thoughts about you haunted me. I wondered how you were doing, how you were coping and really how you made it through everyday. My wonder for you grew like a tumor but I quickly had to extinguish it before it grew into insecurity.

I am honestly happy for you and I deeply want to express my gratitude to you. You paved his heart for me. I can proudly say that he is the best thing that’s happened to me in a while. While you may despise him, he nurtures me. I am the reddest rose in the garden of his heart. I’m watered daily with love and the sun of his heart has made me queen . I may have been a single rose then, but I’ve bloomed into a bountiful garden. My roots are strong and I am confident in my self. I no longer bask in the shade of your past pains. The thorns of the past, well your past that used to agonize me are no more. I stand tall and for that.

Thank you!

Red Roses

A series of apologies…

To you, I’m sorry …

I’ll start off with a well known excuse, I really didn’t know.

As I looked up from kicking the sand, there he was, he’d come to sign us in. I really wasn’t in the mood, but as I saw him approaching, my heart betrayed me and started beating violently in my chest. It was like it was being held captive in the cave of my heart of hearts.
We got in and I managed to casually say hi. Although he didn’t pay much attention to me, I had concluded that I liked him.
I was with Violetta,¬† she led the way , I mean she’s the one who’d dragged me there in the first place.
We got in the room, she placed the gift bag on the bed and I sat on the chair.
He walked into the room, hitting us up with regular check ups. Only this time he walked away with something of mine, no no don’t think too far, it wasn’t my heart. It was my fizzer.